I’m sure we’re all guilty of this little white lie. You’re having a bad day and it shows all over your face. Naturally someone asks what’s wrong. And what do you say, “I’m okay”. They don’t believe you so they ask again, and again you say “Really, I’m good”. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve done this, especially with co-workers asking about Justin.
Co-worker: how’s you’re little guy doing, how much does he weigh?
Me: he’s good, 10 lbs, 8 ozs
Co-worker: that’s great
Me: (hesitantly) yeah
Co-worker: considering he was less than a pound when he was born, yes that’s great
In the back of my mind I’m thinking about the doctors telling me that if his growth hasn’t caught up by the time he’s 8 months adjusted it could indicate neurological problems. So maybe 10 lbs, 8 ozs is great for a full term 2 or 3 month old, but is it really for an 8 month old. Yes, I know he was premature so you have to keep in mind his adjusted age. But there are many other preemies born at similar gestational ages and birth weights as Justin who weigh much more. And yes, I know every baby is different so I shouldn’t compare. But isn’t that exactly what the doctors are doing when they plot his weight, height and length on the growth chart.
I think most people hear the term preemie and just think of a small baby but don’t fully comprehend the many medical issues that accompany a premature baby. It’s assumed that since Justin was discharged that he is perfectly healthy and for the most part that’s true. We are very fortunate that Justin didn’t have any major issues with his heart or brain, but we still have a long road ahead of us. Sometimes it’s just easier to say things are okay than to explain everything that’s really going on.
You might be worrying about Justin's weight unnecessarily at this time. His adjusted age is 4 months, 3 weeks. Maybe once his digestive issues have been resolved, he'll probably begin to gain more. He still has over 3 months before he's 8 months adjusted. He could make great strides by then.
ReplyDeleteDon't beat yourself up. Sometimes I think we just get tired of explaining less than pleasant news over and over again. I know that's true of me. Besides, unless a person has been through it herself, she couldn't fully understand.
ReplyDeletecatch up by 8 months adjusted? Oh my goodness.. all my doctors (ALL) say we have two years! My pedi would like us to be caught up by a year (which would be 9mo adj) but I doubt that's going to happen considering he's now 5mo adj and still 10lb. But our GI doc, the Neos, and all of our therapists (OT, PT, DT) use 2 years as a guide.
ReplyDeleteAnd yeah.. "I'm fine thanks" is just a standard answer.
Sometims I want to take it back and yell "You know.. no I'm NOT OKAY. THIS SUCKS."
But on some many levels - Justin is fine. As fine and he can be. As fine as he needs to be. He's JCJ. He's being the best little JCJ he can be. That's all of us can ever hope for.
ReplyDeleteDon't worry - you saying - "he's just fine" is less stressful and about all anyone needs to hear.