Decisions Decisions Decisions

Last week I got a little discouraged when I was talking to friends about their kids preschool experience. I began to doubt the quality of education Justin is getting at his current school and I thought about pulling him out and finding another school. With kindergarten looming right around the corner I wondered if he’d be able to keep up with other kids if their curriculum is superior to the curriculum he is getting. And although we’re not sure that J is 100% developmentally ready for kindergarten we think he’ll be academically above preschool and won’t benefit from a third year. So our hope is to send him to kindergarten, knowing that he may have to repeat it if he’s not ready for the first grade. 

 

Of course that brings up a long list of things to consider; will he be sad when he sees his friends move on to the 1^st grade without him, should he attend kindergarten at another school to alleviate that problem, will repeating kindergarten create confidence issues, should we look into Montessori schools, should he attend a 3^rd year of preschool at a new school with a different curriculum that might better prepare him for kindergarten, should he remain in his current ECDD (Early Childhood Developmental Delay) program or should he join the general student population. 

 

Anyway, I thought about it more and realized that we're not getting daily updates so really we have no clue what J learns every day at school. And it's our fault for not asking. Of course I questioned are we as his parents doing all that we can. So I went back and looked at the monthly newsletters that J’s teacher sends home. It lists things she’d like the parents to go over with their kids to reinforce what they’re doing in the classroom. We’re doing some of them like his ABCs, numbers, and shapes but we haven’t addressed the President, states, or his phone number. His teacher also includes a calendar that has an activity to do daily to supplement concepts learned in the classroom. I’ve done a few but I’m not consistent. 

 

Yesterday I met with J’s teacher to discuss his progress report and some of my concerns. J continues to be at the top of his class and the teacher is very happy with his progress. The biggest hurdle she sees is his speech, although she noted it has improved. She stressed that academically he’s doing really well and knows things that some kindergartners don’t so she feels that once his speech catches up he’ll really take off. She gave me specific examples of how she introduces new concepts in class which eased my concerns that he’s not being held back by the curriculum. She was very open to sending me a weekly overview of what’s taught in class so that we can ask J specific questions about what he’s learning. She also provided me with a class list so I can go over J’s classmates’ names. I wish I would’ve asked for it sooner, especially since I loved that last year J’s teacher sent home a book with a picture of each child with their name so we went over that every night. 

 

The only thing I was disappointed in is the fact that they don’t focus on writing daily since I’ve been told that’s a requirement for kindergarten. But she said that kindergarten is when they start focusing on writing and that J’s tracing skills are good and he’s one of the better tracers in the class. That being said we are doing daily lessons with him; working on activity books to practice his writing, working on sight words, matching, counting and I’ve pinned several activities for him to work on to help get him ready for this next step.

 

Today we went to a preschool open house, on the off chance that J does need another year of preschool at a different school and because Nathan will be starting preschool in the fall.  Tuesday we're attending a kindergarten orientation at J's potential new elementary school and they will discuss kindergarten readiness, the kindergarten program/curriculum and special services.  We definitely need to get as much information as possible so we can make the best decision for J.

Are They Twins

So I took the boys out last weekend and I got the dreaded question and I almost answered yes. Now you all know how upset I used to get by this question, especially before Nathan started walking, when clearly there was no way they could be twins when one was walking and one was still in a car seat, come on now people! But now based on appearance they definitely could pass for twins. And honestly, even developmentally they’re pretty close so I thought it'd be fun to do a comparison for you guys. 

Weight: Justin - 25 lbs & Nathan - 30 lbs

Length: Justin - 35 inches & Nathan - 35 inches

Clothes: Justin - 24 months/2T & Nathan - 2T/3T

Shoes: Justin - 6/7 & Nathan 7/8

Diapers: Justin - Pull Ups 2T/3T & Nathan - Size 5

At 2 years

· Jump, run and climb the stairs – Justin & Nathan

· Sometimes use 2 word sentences – Justin & Nathan

· Often do opposite of what’s asked – Justin & Nathan

· Refer to self by own name - Neither

· Show affection by returning a hug or kiss – Justin & Nathan

At 3 years

· Talk and usually be understood – Justin & Nathan

· Use three word sentences – Justin (sometimes)

· Pedal a trike - Neither

· Kick a ball – Justin & Nathan

· Copy drawing a straight line - Neither

· Name 6 body parts - Justin

· Play with other children – Justin & Nathan

Wits' End

I really thought we had gotten past Justin's sleeping COMPLETELY naked phase.  Especially after what I thought was our secret weapon (DJ Lance costume) kept J in his PJs for 4 nights straight.  But that was short lived; last night I walked into J's room only 5 minutes after putting him to bed to find his onesie, pajamas, diaper and DJ Lance shirt all on the floor.  We've tried everything; putting his clothes on backwards, putting on multiple layers of clothes, taping him into his diaper and finally last night we taped him into a onesie.  I figured there was no way he could get out of that when he was taped into it like a harness and couldn't access the snaps. But Houdini managed to wiggle out of that and the diaper.  And I wouldn't mind so much if he was potty trained; at least then I wouldn't find him in a soaked bed in the morning, requiring me to give him a bath and wash his sheets every day.   

Failure

This morning I met with the speech therapist at Justin's school. Long story short J's language development is the equivalent of a 21 month old; J is 41 months so that's about a 1 1/2 year delay, OUCH!!! I couldn't help but feel like a complete failure after hearing that. Especially considering J had a speech evaluation last year which put him at about the same delay. Perhaps I was in denial a year ago; after all the therapists only have one 30-45 minute session to evaluate him and in both cases J didn't do half of the stuff we know he can do. And after last year's evaluation I discussed the results with J's Early Intervention teacher who works with him weekly and she didn't feel that his delay was that severe. Between her weekly sessions and us working with him regularly at home we didn't feel the need to rush to therapy but now I'm second guessing that decision. I know I shouldn't compare but I look at other preemies, all born around the same gestational age as J, whose language has just really taken off and I can't help but wonder what I did wrong.

But after talking to Carl and a couple of friends I've realized I can't let this get me down. On the bright side J's expressive language (use of words and sentences to communicate thoughts, needs or wants) is only slightly below average. It's his comprehensive/receptive language (process of understanding what is said) that really brought his score down so we discussed her goals for him. Two of them are things that J is already doing but he didn't show during his evaluation so the therapist said she will adjust the goals accordingly once they get into their sessions. One of them was something Carl and I had already identified so at least we're on the same page there. The last two were things that I've actually never considered or thought about but now realize are key to his development so I'm glad she'll be working with J on them. She gave suggestions on things for us to do at home, some of which we're already doing so we just need to continue with what we've been doing even though it doesn't seem like it's helping. The therapist will provide weekly updates on what they worked on during the week so we can reinforce things at home. So we have a plan; the hope is that we'll see significant improvement by the end of the school year.

On another note, I finally got a chance to see J with his classmates while I waited for the speech therapist. Since there are some kids that get dropped off and others that ride the bus the preschool kids wait in the hallway with the teacher and her aide to give everyone enough time to get in the building and to let the older kids get into class. Once everyone is rounded up they walk in a line (follow the blue line on the floor) to the classroom. Justin was 2nd in line and walked to class on his own; his teacher was at the middle of the line and the aide was at the back. It's so simple but I was so proud seeing him walk to class.

After the meeting I peeked into the classroom; they were wrapping up breakfast and most of the kids were still at the table eating while a few kids sat on the floor reading. Even though the door was open I couldn't see J but I didn't want to just walk into the classroom and disrupt things. But the aide saw me and told me to go ahead and peak my head around the corner since J was off to the side where I couldn't see him. He was sitting, well more like hanging off the chair with a spoon in his mouth and he saw me but he didn't smile, cry, get up, nothing so I just turned around and left. I didn't see much but it was nice to see nonetheless since we don't get the opportunity to observe or participate in classroom activities.

Preschool Update

Tuesday's drop off went better, at least for me; I didn't cry even though I heard J screaming as he walked away with his teacher.  On Wednesday J cried as the aid walked him away but even the teacher's who monitor the front doors commented that he did much better.  But when Carl picked J up his teacher said that he wined all day, only napped for 15 minutes and didn't eat.   As it turns out J was coming down with a cold so we kept him home Thursday.  He was still coughing and had a bit of a runny nose on Monday so he didn't go to school Monday either.

Carl dropped J off this morning; he called me as he left the school to tell me he better understood how I felt last week because he got a little choked up this morning when he gave J a hi-five and hug goodbye.  J whimpered a little as he walked away holding his teacher's hand but he didn't throw a tantrum.

When Carl picked J up his teacher said that he didn't play with the other kids at all, he threw a fit when he was told no and fussed during nap time.  She also called him SPOILED which Carl didn't appreciate.  I found that a little ironic because Carl says the boys are spoiled all the time.  Now I've never thought we/I spoil them; we don't let them have everything they want, we tell them no and I don't baby them. 

So, what is spoiled; is a child spoiled because they throw tantrums, don't like to be told no, because they don't interact with other kids?  Is it possible that they're still adjusting to a new environment?  Or is it possible that I, as mom, am in denial? 

Too Much TV

I never wanted to be that parent who let the TV babysit my kids. But shortly after Carl got back from Iraq I realized Justin was watching WAY too much TV when he threw a tantrum after I turned the TV off and tried to do some puzzles with him. I'm sure many parents will agree that at certain times the TV is needed (i.e. like when you're cooking dinner and need the kids out of the kitchen or when you're doing laundry).  Well unfortunately I relied on it too much while Carl was gone.

Although I must say that TV isn't all bad. After all, I credit Sesame Street and Elmo with J learning his numbers and ABCs. And when the boys watch TV they watch educational shows (Sesame Street, Your Baby Can Read, Baby Einstein) and rarely just regular cartoons. That being said, I was determined to limit even the amount of educational TV the boys watch and start doing more interactive things with them. The first few weeks were tough; they have short attention spans. Now that the weather is nice we're able to take them outside or to the park.

Now we'll never get to only one hour of TV a week day like we were allowed when I grew up but I think we're on the right track.  But any suggestions for indoor activities, you know, for those rainy days, would be greatly appreciated.

Dear Nathan

I get that you love Cheerios and yogurt but a growing boy needs to eat some meat, vegetables, and fruit.  Don't get me wrong, your efforts when it comes to eating breakfast haven't gone unnoticed.  I love that you're now eating breakfast bars and toast and I was ecstatic when you willingly ate half a waffle for breakfast Saturday and then a whole pancake on Sunday.  But those foods aren't too far from your food MO; you know you love snack and bread based foods.  So I REALLY need you to be more open minded to trying new foods.  Macaroni and cheese, spaghettios, cream of broccoli soup, chicken nuggets, meatballs, green beans, corn would all be a good start.  I don't think that's too much to ask of a toddler.  But hiding food in your high chair to make me think you've eaten it or hoarding food in your mouth only for me to find it when I brush your teeth, it's smart but sneaky.  You have to stop getting mommy's hopes up!