Potty Training: A Year Long Struggle

I’ve been hesitant to post in fear that I might jinx it but I think it’s safe to say that after 11 ½ months of full blown potty training Justin is FINALLY potty trained.  He’s been wearing underwear only at home for a while now but the final step was sending him to school in underwear, which he’s been doing for the past month.  There were some accidents the first few weeks but these last two weeks have been accident free. 

A few weeks ago I decided to test the waters with a shopping trip.  Let’s not even get started on how crazy/hectic that trip was because my boys are such busy bodies and I can’t take them shopping anywhere without a shopping cart to confine them.  Anyway, I digressed.  Before we left the house I had J use the bathroom and then we headed out to our first stop.  Then we headed to Target and I took J to the bathroom as soon as we got there.  We made one last pit stop on the way home and J made it home accident free. Successful outing, yay!!! 

Even still, it wasn’t until the following week while at Carlene’s house for Festivus that I started realizing that J really is potty trained.  The kids were in the basement with a sitter while the adults congregated upstairs.  I went downstairs to check on the boys to find J walking out of the bathroom pulling up his pants.  I was so excited that he was able to recognize the need to use the bathroom amongst playing with 8 others kids and take himself to the bathroom. 

He’s also been at my in-laws on several occasions and he’s told them when he has to use the bathroom.  And last week with Santa Barn and Noel night we made it through the entire day without any accidents. 

This was a LONG journey; we received tons of advice from friends and family, lots of judgmental stares/questions when people heard J was 4 and not potty trained, lots of self doubt and questioning whether we were doing enough.  I now realize that when we started potty training J just wasn’t ready and it ended up frustrating us more than him.  But when it finally clicked for him things just took off.  I guess my mom was right when she said “have you ever known a kid to go to kindergarten and not be potty trained… it’ll happen when he’s ready”. 

He still wears a Pull Up during nap time and bedtime but I’m still claiming it because when he’s awake he goes to the bathroom on his own or tells an adult when he has to go. 

Potty Training 1001

So we’re now entering month 10 of potty training and I’m so over it. It feels like we’re the ones doing the potty training instead of the other way around because we’re telling Justin to go sit on the potty. If J has to use the bathroom when we tell him to go he goes right away. If not, he plays around for a few minutes and then climbs down and we’ll just tell him to go again in another 30 minutes or so. So the issue isn’t getting him to actually pee in the potty, rather, it’s getting him to realize on his own that he has to go and either telling us he has to pee or just going to the bathroom himself to pee.

People have been telling us that we need to reward him for going to the potty but there really wasn’t anything I could think of. Last week I realized I needed to take something away from him. So cookies it was and I told J no more cookies until he starts going to the bathroom on his own. Well it didn’t work, initially that is. 

 

This past weekend we found J in the bathroom, sitting on the potty, so we rewarded him with cookies.  But the next day he had an accident and didn’t like being wet so he changed his own underwear. When I saw what happened I made him put the wet underwear back on, with the hopes that would do the trick. And it may have because Monday J sat through his entire speech therapy session without an accident and after Molly left he went to the bathroom.  But the next day I came home and Carl said he had another accident.  I felt defeated; that is until I came home today and Carl told me that J's teacher has been taking him to the bathroom at school and he's been peeing standing up.  So Carl's pretty sure that J's accident was because he tried to pee standing up at home when usually he sits.   

 

Are we finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel; I sure hope so!!!

 

 

Potty Time w/ Elmo

Justin totally surprised me after dinner and told me he had to go potty for the first time. We've pretty much kept up with the same routine I mentioned in my last post, except now we're extending the amount of time in between potty time.  The first week we had him sit every hour but this last week we've been going anywhere from 1 - 2 hours.  He's still in overnite diapers and we haven't even focused on #2 but he's using the potty more often at Carlene's so I think this is huge progress in just 2 weeks. 

With J doing so well it seemed like a good time to introduce Nathan to the potty; especially since he's already showed interest and sits on the potty when J does.  But for now it's just getting him used to it so we only put him on once or twice a day and we'll see how it goes from there.   

Potty Training 701

We're now in month 7 of full blown potty training; we've made some progress but it stills seems like the end goal is sooo far away.  We have Justin sit on the potty every 30 minutes and 9 times out of 10 all we have to do is say "J it's potty time" and he stops what he's doing to run upstairs to the bathroom. 

J's gotten so much better with his aim and knows how/where to hold his penis to not make a mess.  I can't tell you how nice it is to not have to help him get on the potty or stay in the bathroom with him for an extended period of time before he actually goes. 
  
The new rule is underwear ONLY while at home but he's still wearing diapers at night.  And unfortunately he's still wearing Pull Ups at Carlene's since she only puts him on the potty twice a day but I'm working on getting that changed. 

So what made the difference; last month Carl bought a potty seat that fits into the big toilet and now J is excited about using the big potty. After the first week Carl was patting himself on the back saying "good call, I should've bought that sooner". Yeah, I wish he would've bought that sooner too. 

Potty Training 401

We are now entering month 4 of full blown potty training and I'm wiped out and I just knew we'd be so much further along than we are. Granted Justin has peed in the potty AT least once every day this week; mostly he's gone twice a day, one day we got really lucky and he went 3 times that day and then one day he peed and pooped in the potty. However, is it really progress when he's only going because we make him sit on the potty until he goes? 

I know, potty training is a process and has several stages but isn't making him sit until he pees more part of the first few months of potty training?  We're 3 months into it, shouldn't he be realizing on his own that he needs to go?  I actually think he does but he's being very stubborn. Case in point, Thursday night I sat him on the potty about 45 minutes before bath time and told him that he couldn't take a bath until he peed. Bath time rolled around and still no pee, so J watched while I gave Nathan his bath. He still hadn't peed by the time I finished with Nathan so I told him "okay, no bath for you tonight, bring your potty into your brother's room while I get him dressed". And boy was he not happy but no sooner than he sat down on the potty in Nate's room what did he do; he started peeing.  Really Justin!?!?!

When will he stop being stubborn, when will it click for him and most importantly, when can I stop buying Pull Ups, lol?  I just hope it's before we start potty training Nathan this summer because I need a break and I'm sure I won't be able to handle potty training both of them together, especially if it continues on like this.

Wits' End

I really thought we had gotten past Justin's sleeping COMPLETELY naked phase.  Especially after what I thought was our secret weapon (DJ Lance costume) kept J in his PJs for 4 nights straight.  But that was short lived; last night I walked into J's room only 5 minutes after putting him to bed to find his onesie, pajamas, diaper and DJ Lance shirt all on the floor.  We've tried everything; putting his clothes on backwards, putting on multiple layers of clothes, taping him into his diaper and finally last night we taped him into a onesie.  I figured there was no way he could get out of that when he was taped into it like a harness and couldn't access the snaps. But Houdini managed to wiggle out of that and the diaper.  And I wouldn't mind so much if he was potty trained; at least then I wouldn't find him in a soaked bed in the morning, requiring me to give him a bath and wash his sheets every day.   

Potty Training Bootcamp

Carl and I are both off this week so we decided now would be the best time to start full on potty training.  We started introducing Justin to the potty shortly after we moved in September, but with no real consistency until last month when we started putting J on the potty 3 times a day; first thing in the morning, first thing when we get home from school and then right before bed.

To get ready for this week I bought training pants and plastic covers, more so for our benefit to reduce the amount of clean up, but with the hope that J would not like the feeling of wet/cold underwear and be more inclined to let us know when he had to go.  Our game plan was to put J on the potty every 30 minutes for about 5-10 minute intervals.  J sits on the potty with no problem; he sees it as a toy and will watch TV while sitting or use it as a riding toy and scoot around the room.  But he holds his pee until just after we put on his big boy underwear so after the first day we started leaving his underwear on but wet underwear doesn't phase J at all.

We can tell when he has to use the bathroom; he squirms, grabs his penis and then asks for his underwear.  So today we changed our game plan and started leaving him on the potty until he peed in the potty.  After 2 hours, much prodding and encouragement he finally peed in the potty and to reward him we gave him cookies and a sticker.  We also made a big deal out of him pouring his pee in the big toilet and flushing it on his own.  But 5 minutes later he peed in his underwear.

Right now I'm emotionally drained and defeated.  I had such high hopes for this week.  I didn't expect J to be completely potty trained by the end of the week but I thought we'd see more results.  But a friend  made me realize that potty training is a process with many stages and although I'm not where I hoped we'd be we are making progress and J will eventually catch on.  So we're not giving up; we'll continue with the repetition, make sure school and daycare has a set schedule for him to follow and reassess at the end of January.