Another Denial Post

My kids are different. And yes I know I shouldn’t compare but let’s face it, they are. And I think I’ve been somewhat in denial about it all. That was until a few weeks ago.

We’ve been having behavioral issues with Nathan that exceed the typical tantrums. He’s outright defiant and becoming increasingly violent; it started with throwing things, escalated to hitting himself, punching and kneeing doors, kicking in kitchen cabinets and the most recent was somehow managing to punch holes in his bedroom and hallway walls. We sought out the assistance of a behavioral psychologist and after several office visits, an in home visit by a child care worker and a full speech evaluation we were told that our expectations for Nathan are too high. I Immediately became defensive; I don’t think I’m asking too much from my child. But as the psychologist continued to explain it made total sense and I wondered why/how I hadn't realized this sooner, especially considering the fact that he’s in ECSE which means he has an early childhood developmental delay.  Duh Georgina!

Diagnostically Nate is a 4 ½ year old in a 2 year old's body; he’s still a toddler developmentally. And toddlers want to control the whole world, they want things their way, they’re very impulsive, they don’t take the time to think through actions and consequences. Lets now layer on the speech delays and not being fully able to communicate his frustrations. I got so wrapped up in the fact that Nate is speaking clearly and in sentences and is so much further along than J was at this age that I automatically assumed his speech was on track. And the funny thing is it is. But his language is not. He can answer some W questions (what, who) but when it comes to where or why he can’t answer without prompting or echoing.

So Nate started speech therapy two weeks ago. But how did I not think that Justin would benefit just as much from speech therapy when he has the same language issues as Nathan. Not only that but J still has issues with his speech as well. I’ve placed too much reliance on the fact that he’s getting speech in school and the fact that he is improving that I didn’t consider seeking additional help. So we provided Nate’s speech therapist with copies of J’s most recent IEP and evaluations from his teacher, school psychologist and speech therapist so hopefully J will be starting sessions soon.

Another eye opening moment; have you guys heard about the apparently kid?  He’s a 5 year old boy who was made pretty popular after being interviewed by a local news station at a carnival. The reporter kept asking him questions which he clearly understood and responded to appropriately. And it made me realize that my kids are nowhere near that level of comprehension and language. When asked questions they laugh, stare at the person asking the question or repeat the question. It’s hard to get an answer out of them other than yes or no. Not saying that it never happens, because if you read my 5 on Fridays you’re probably wondering what I’m talking about cause it seems like they’re talking up a storm. And they definitely are, it brings a smile to my face to hear them talking more and more. But realistically they are nowhere where they should be at this point.